Chapter 12: Lost in Transition

This following is a test of Adam’s Emergency Determination System. This is only a test.  ------------------------------

This is Only a Test



To date, I can only recall two other years in my life that were as mentally testing as my junior year at Eastern Mennonite University (EMU). After my whirlwind summer, Emily and decided to move into an apartment together against all forces of common sense. Being young and in love, it’s doubtful that anyone else could’ve convinced us of an alternative. However, we were predestined for heartache throughout the year as I had to reveal what had happened in England. 

In a sudden turn of events, 9/11 reignited a sense of anger I hadn’t experienced in several years. I wasn’t especially fond of the Mennonite faith at the time, and I had lost my religion altogether by that point. Emily helped me understand the deeper meaning of the Mennonite faith allowing me discover the true meaning of pacifism. While I couldn’t wholeheartedly adopt the philosophy, I incorporated into my makeshift value system while trying desperately to make sense of the chaotic world as I saw it at the time.

There weren’t many times during my junior year when I’d wake up ready to face the day. Almost immediately, self-doubt crept in and made itself right at home. I felt dejected and contemplated whether every decision I’d made up to that point was a mistake.  There were certainly days I had convinced myself that this life wasn’t for me. Using sports as a much-needed outlet, I withstood the appeal to give up school, end a confusing relationship with my fiancée, and returning to a much simpler lifestyle. Through self-reasoning, I decided that the consequences of giving up that easily would have been a disappointment in the long run and led to a constant wonderment of a love lost. Instead of giving into the stressors of finances and new compromises, Emily and I decided to stick it out for the long haul. In what was tantamount to feeling my way through the dark, I also managed to rediscover a light to find my way to the graduation finish line.

This concludes the test of Adam’s Emergency Determination System.  You may now enter into Self-Actualization

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